Pain The Ultimate Teacher.

Throughout the past seven years, following my first major depression. I have learned more through pain than anything else. I am referring to mental pain of course. I have learned about myself mainly, my family, my friends, my former colleagues and people in general.

If I had a choice I would have taken physical pain hands down over mental pain.

Unlike the physical pain, the mental pain stays within you even after you’ve dealt with it. It never leaves and lurks in the back of your mind. Maybe it is the reason why pain is such a good teacher as it is always there, ready to remind you what it can cause. Pain has a wide range of variety.

Sometimes it was so strong and invasive that I thought about ending it all. I’ve tried. This taught me that I wasn’t alone in this, my family cared and needed me, and that I couldn’t inflict more pain on them, that I had already done. By the same token, it taught me about restraint and moral responsibilities.

It taught me about empathy. Something that I had never felt before in my life as was I so self-absorbed with my work and money. It’s not that I didn’t care about people but my unilateral remedy was money. Now, I can honestly say, that I listen to the person’s problems and try to support him/her in any way I can.

It taught patience. Problems just don’t come in and out at the same pace. Some pains have to be dealt with gently while others can be handled more swiftly which implies a better understanding of oneself. We are as complexed as our pains.

It taught me to genuinely care about people’s feelings. It taught me that what was important to me wasn’t necessarily for someone else.

It taught me how to cry. I had never been able to cry and now I do, it is a wonderful feeling to be able to evacuate deep, painful feelings through tears. It seems very easy and natural but for some people like me, it wasn’t. I took me some time, while I was depressed, to explore it and learn how to handle it.

They are other lessons that pain taught me, but one, probably the most important is that I realize that I don’t suffer in vain. There is a silver lining in pain which enable us to be more in touch with ourselves and attentive to others. It is, of course, impossible to see the positive sign of pain when we are in the midst of suffering but if we take the time to analyzing it when it is gone, we can see the “teaching” aspect of it.

Life is hard for most of us and in order to maintain positivity in this living hell, we have to try to find these silver linings hiding behind those primitive feelings that come up during our hardship.

Peace and serenity



14 thoughts on “Pain The Ultimate Teacher.

  1. Well written. Sorry i have not been able to post for a while Lawrence i have been working non stop. Do not honestly know how i have made it through. I want to pick one point in your post that has hit me. I cannot cry although virtually every day i just want to break down and scream and cry. I just cannot do it……Some people say that it will come in good time. For the time being i have to contend with the feelings of wanting to and not being able to actually open myself up. Keep it up Lawrence………..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Matt, I was thinking that you were very busy even though I was still a bit worried, to be honest.
      Thanks for the compliment.
      What truly unlocked my crying issue was this rap song that I mentioned in a post recently (with the song). Otherwise, I agree that it will come in good time.
      Nice to have you back and so sorry you had to work so much

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadly part of my life at the moment. I am working on various solutions. Hopefully this should ease my workload. I have literally worked non stop for the last 6 days. Starting 2 days off today but how much i will rest is another question, i have other bits i need to attend to…………………………..

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      2. Try to slow down my friend, that’s one of my favorite shrinks use to tell me. “Slow down…” So di my mother by the way. I know it’s easier said than done, I know! Nevertheless, when I tried, it worked and reduced my level hyperactivity and probably my level of anxiety. You can’t do everything at once. Sorry to be blunt but I don’t want to find yourselves in “mental trap”. Peace and serenity my friend.

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      3. Totally get where you are coming from. Thank you for your concern i am thinking of taking a break somewhere just to be on my own and chill and gather my thoughts as it were. You be as blunt as you like my friend. I feel i am in a mental trap already, i just need to get myself sorted and straight. Peace and Love to you.

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  2. Pain allows us to heal. Without pain, how would we know what it means to heal? I have been in those dark places too many times. I am now learning that I can sit and feel the pain, but not let it conquer me. By allowing myself to feel pain, I can still be in the moment and not in the past or future. Pain is not enjoyable…it isn’t meant to be. It is a way that our brain talks to us. It is a way to grow and learn from our experiences. Our ancient ancestors used pain to alert them of danger and to know that something wasn’t right. We still have that instinct in our brains, but now we have a lot more going on inside ourselves and in our environment. We have evolved to the point where our brain plays tricks on us because we can rationalize our emotions. It is obviously more complicated than I can describe, but our emotions and our brain are so connected. Emotions are meant to inform us. The trick is to listen and understand what they are saying.

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