Poem; Pain.

Pain. You run through my vein. You run through my soul. You can kill my spirit. You love hurting, that’s all. I’m going to fight to save it. I will not let you take my inner being. Despite all your attempting.   Peace and serenity Lawrence Copyright © June 2018

Today I am struggling and exhausted.

I feel like I've been hit by a train as I had a short night, where the meds didn’t get enough time to do their job. I still felt the repercussions until late afternoon. This was when I realized their potencies. I decided to write something despite all of the above as I want to …

I couldn’t fight it anymore,

I’ve tried with all I’ve got but couldn’t help to fall back into it. I’ve just woke up from a 20 hours tormented sleep. I am fully depressed with everything that comes with it for me which are: constant fear of anything, paranoia, procrastination and the noisy demons always at work to name the few …

This feeling makes me ashamed.

I have this daily reoccurring feeling that bothers me a lot and makes me ashamed. I cannot, or should I say, I don’t have the strength to fight it. I will try my best to describe this issue of mine. When I am home alone, I miss the presence of my family, their laughter, quarrels, …

I Haven’t Been The Same.

Since the incident with my computer, I haven’t been the same. I was doing fine before this fiasco. Because of it, I renewed ties with an old companion from way back then called Anxiety. The state of anxiety that I was in when the computer crashed was unreal. I had lost all control over this …

The Silver Lining,

A few days ago I published a post called “Pain The Ultimate Teacher”. In it, I mentioned the silver lining and what I meant by it. The overwhelming experience that followed my last post were the definitions of what the silver lining is all about. Following my last message mentioning my incident. I received so …

I’m afraid…

It’s started yesterday. It was trying to get under my skin and to my sternum but I fought with all I could. Tricks acquired from therapies, medicines but it finally it won the battle during the night. Since of late last night, it cold and unpleasant pressure is here. Sometimes it is so hard that …

Pain The Ultimate Teacher.

Throughout the past seven years, following my first major depression. I have learned more through pain than anything else. I am referring to mental pain of course. I have learned about myself mainly, my family, my friends, my former colleagues and people in general. If I had a choice I would have taken physical pain …

The Right To Die.

“– If assisted dying was legalized and made available to those suffering from incurable mental illness, people would not need to resort to suicide methods that cause trauma and disruption to others (e.g. jumping in front of a train). – Just because someone is depressed or suicidal, doesn’t mean they are thinking “irrationally”. In fact, …

Rapping Bipolarity

A few years ago my wife came to me and asked me to listen to a rap song (link below). My initial reaction was negative and I was quite reluctant to listen to it as I didn’t like rapping at all. But she managed to convince me and I am so thankful that she did. …