Music

I am about to share something important to me which is the guitar and music.
I love music as most people do, as it was constantly being played on in my house and car. I enjoy every style, from classical, opera, all types of rock to even rap now which made me come to term with my illness. Rapping Bipolarity I have not been able to locate the artist for about two years now, and I hope that he is still with us.
About five years ago I took the harsh decision to stop listening and more so, not playing music. I inflicted this severe measure to myself as I felt guilty to have fun playing on my
Fender and enjoy listening to a beautiful concert on my Hi-Fi. As I wasn’t making any money, if not loosing some. I didn’t have a steady job and generated any income. It was just impossible for me. How can I have fun when the house is crumbling?
Sit there and play! Sorry but this wasn’t in my own code of ethics. I have to use that time find a solution, a way out. I have spent hours of investigating, searching, sending resumes left, right and center, investing in small project and the result after all this time and investment is zero, actually less since we’re in debt.
I can’t see myself playing or listening to anything. I tried to pick up the guitar once. I clean it polished it, tuned it and started to play. I wasn’t as smooth and fluid as I was before which made me sad and the guilty feeling was lingering in the back of my head. So I stopped.

I finally realized something these past few days, when I had my bouts with the meds (scary) that anything can happen to me and die. I know it looks stupid to write this, but it is true, it is one thing to understand intellectually, and it is another to feel it.

I have my family support me on this as they are missing hearing me play. I will try to change this, and my reasoning is that it is a good exercise for my brain as I am losing memory among other things.
I’ve read many articles, and they come up more or less with the same conclusions which are that listening generates lots of activity in both lobes and generate quite a lot more when music is played. I am enclosing the link to an interesting study made by McGill University. Playing musical instruments in the MRI – the brain on music – YouTube

Peace and serenity

Lawrence

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