Yesterday, was my visit with to the psychiatrist.
I was looking forward to this meeting as I had high expectations. I was hoping to be able to change my treatment and to end this strategy to keep me slightly depressed to avoid potential damaging hypomanic phases.
This is killing me slowly as I find myself continually fighting depression whether it is mild or not. Now that I am severely depressed I find it almost impossible to look for strength to function. Some days I manage to deal with it, but others are merely spent in bed as I am depleted.
The idea made sense, but it seems that since I am depressed continuously mildly or not, I’m always battling depression which uses lots of energy, and I am never in a state where I can recuperate and recharge the batteries.
After an unusually long session (I guess it was needed), the doctor agreed on modifying the current treatment very carefully by adding another small dose of a new potent drug.
According to him, there is a clear pattern, which he showed me on his computer, of getting accustomed to drugs after a year. In May we always have to change something. For some reason, my body gets used to it and stop reacting to the meds. We could increase and increase the amount, which we do during the year, but it comes to a point where you can no longer increase otherwise I would become at risk.
It was very interesting to see the chart which spoke by itself and was a useful format for me to understand the situation.
I am now entering a new era with this powerful new medication which should increase my anxiety significantly for the first ten days, and I have the freedom to raise the anti-anxiety medicines as I see fit for that short period. I’ll be seeing him on June 13th. I am always happy to change treatment and don’t feel anxious about it, as I experienced so many changes in my life and they all turn out to be for the better. It is just a shame that they don’t last long enough but such is life, nothing is forever, isn’t it?
Peace and serenity