Bipolar day.

Today I had a rapid cycle bipolar day which went from high to worse.

For once I’ll try to focus on the positive side of things instead of my usual negative bias.

An excellent friend of mine invited me to lunch at his beautiful house in the outskirt of Dijon. It was a bit of a drive but nothing extraordinary either. He is one the handful person that I can call my friend and the only one who was in my field. We know each other for about eighteen years. I was greeted as a prince, with open arm and it felt so good. My friend knows about my condition from A to Z and thought that it was time to take me out of the house for a change of environment and to talk about our passion which are the financial markets. I have been out of the loop for far too many years, and I’m not really up to date on the details and changes within the legal frame, but according to him, I still have it as the principals haven’t changed at all. Even though I have no chances to work again in this field, I always check occasionally what the markets are doing.

We had a marvelous lunch on his terrace overlooking a beautiful scenery which could have been taken from a movie. First, we had an appetizer, typical French dry sausage with a nice cold beer. We chatted a bit about everything, he was very concerned about my health, and that’s when I noticed something in his eyes. There was pain or sorrow in his look when he inquired me about my condition. I immediately asked if everything was okay with him and he answered that his young brother passed away, not too long ago, after having battled with lethal cancer. I could feel the pain and asked how he was feeling and if he was seeking professional help. I mentioned it to lessen the burden of the grieving process and answered negatively but wasn’t against the idea as he has other problems to deal with too. I didn’t pry and asked what it was. I figured if he wants to talk about it he will.

He told me that he was feeling horrible for his parents that they had to bury their son. Then I put my “father’s cap” on and was asking myself if I would ever be able to deal with such traumatic and unnatural circumstances. Granted I almost lost both of my boys, but I haven’t lost them which make all the difference.

The lunch was exquisite and plentiful. We managed to have great discussions about so many topics which varied from the financial world to mental illness.

At one point he brought me a very confidential project which was very detailed and intricate. He asked my opinion on it which flattered me a great deal. With reviewed it page by page as I was trying to keep up with the pace as I felt quite rusty. Then came the time to issue my opinion on it. I mentioned what I felt were the strong points and the weaknesses. And to my great surprise, he told me that he agreed and will give this exact same feedback to the people in charge of this quite substantial investment.

He looked at me with a smile and said “I told you that you still got you old fox.

Peace and serenity





15 thoughts on “Bipolar day.

    1. Thank you I guess I could be one but they are many. Writing a blligual blog on macro economics could be an avenue or writing in a simple way is happening in financial markets could be helpful for people stranger to this intimidating field.

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  1. What a nice lunch you had by the sounds of it. You never lose your abilities that you gain in any field they will be ingrained into you forever. I am sorry for his loss so so sad. Another taken by that horrible nasty disease. Having been given the opportunity to look over his work, i think you have demonstrated that you still have what it takes to get on in that field. Think carefully Lawrence consultancy work could be the way forward……

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    1. We really think alike. I was day dreaming about it. I am willing to move anywhere so if you see some openings Pls let me And what about a blog? What do you think? Thanks for your support.
      If you don’t mind me asking. How are you?

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  2. Yes do the blog what have you got to lose? Nothing in my eyes. It is a subject you have a deep understanding of, something that you are passionate about. I think it is always good to write and educate people on the things that you have strong feelings for.
    As for me? Well i am very much up and down. I did manage a little win the other day. I ate a small chocolate egg. This may seem a small thing but for me it was a massive deal. I managed to push the guilt to one side which was again massive. So a very small step. As for everything else i am not enjoying my new job. Having been there a month now i just feel it is not for me. I had this feeling in my very first week and it has carried on. So its back to the job boards to see what is out there.

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    1. I’m so sorry that you’re struggling but on the positive side is that you ate something and you are aware of the issues affecting you, this is huge. And you are right baby step is the only way out of these horrific situations, that’s what I’m trying to do for myself.
      The news about your new job not working is a bummer and you don’t need the aggravation right now as you are battling alone your illness.
      I have a huge respect for you taking on your health problem by yourself. And for the job, like you said, you’ll find another one.

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      1. Thank you Lawrence for your kind words. I have no other way out of my predicament so i must go alone like i have said before. As for the job i do not need it you are right, but it is another thing for me to deal with. I am working on it as we speak. I am not in the mood these days to play the games that are being played by some members of this new job. I already have a few options which i am working on so i have to be patient at the moment no matter how long it may take.

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      2. Politics in the workplace are simply impossible to deal with and can drive you nuts and miserable (it did it for me) Happy to hear that you have some alternate options and another point that is crucial is patience. Something that I do not possess!

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      3. Well i have to be patient. I would be a little more impatient to switch things if i did not have Number 1 to think about. I am glad i do have her around i would hate to think where i would be if i did not have her to focus on.

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      4. To be patient, at least for me, is a real challenge.
        Therefore I understand your predicament.
        I guess that’s why they say patience is a virtue.
        To have a loved one by your side, to be responsible and caring for is what probably prevents us from falling off the deep end.

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